This is a very debatable topic, but tons of girls would most likely agree with me. Nice guys do not finish last. I was talking to some of my friends about this, and several of the guys disagreed with me. So I felt like I should talk a little bit more about it, because it makes me furious.

Let me explain what this means for those of you who don’t know. This is a saying guys like to use when a girl doesn’t like them, or when a girl has broken up with them and starts dating someone else.

A guy is like “Oh, nice guys finish last. I’m such a good guy and no one wants to date me.”

Boo hoo.

Ninety percent of the time I have heard guys say this, it’s about this really pretty girl. The problem here, my friend, is that you’re swinging for the fences. People look for their equals. They like to feel equal in a relationship.

That doesn’t mean girls date jerks. That just means you don’t like her choice of who to date, and they happen to share a lot of common interests with each other. So good for them. You are really setting yourself up for failure, because what is happening is you want to be her boyfriend, and she doesn’t like you like that.

In the rare circumstance that a guy uses this phrase in a way that might make sense, that is when you really need to turn around and be honest with yourself. This is where you are over simplifying. “Oh, nice guys finish last, that’s why you broke up with me. You just can’t handle someone treating you how you deserve,” and blah, blah, blah. Whatever the rest of their little speech is.

Honey, no.

I broke up with you because you have not passed any of your classes the entire year we dated, and you are collecting hours owed. It is like having a baby-man-child boyfriend, and I can’t afford you. I found out you are going to ISS almost every day, and you are addicted to drugs.

Or it could be, I feel like I’m going to die every time I’m in a car with you, and you have a criminal record. You’re not really even that nice.

I can promise you there is a laundry list of reasons why that girl broke up with you or chose not to date you. Being nice is in another book. It is not even on the list. There is not a girl on the face of the Earth who does not like nice people.

You can finish first all day, every day, all the time for the rest of your life, if you just find someone who likes the same stuff that you do, that you can just hang out with. Do not use this nice guy thing as a crutch to stand on.

Be a man.

Do us all a favor, never use that excuse again. Just be like, you know what, fine. I’m going to try to stop going to ISS every day, learn how to drive, maybe I’ll go to tutoring so I can graduate, and then I’ll find a girl who likes me.

Once you do that, things will work out for you. I promise.