Indecision, it surrounds us in all aspects of life. Especially as a student. Each day we make the small decisions required in life; to do our homework, to eat dinner, to call a friend or watch TV. But when we are faced with a more important decision, we freeze.

On small decisions you never hear someone asking a friend for advice or considering all the options. But when it’s a decision that we don’t want to make, we put it off. We say we just need to “sleep on it”, we beg for others to “advise” us when truly we want them to choose for us. Nobody knows what to do when the choice matters.

People will tell you that you always know the answer subconsciously and that whatever you choose will be the right decision. But will it? We never know what could’ve been. And after all is it us that make the decision? Or do we succumb to peer pressure and just do what they say?

Of the many instances when I have reached indecision, the one I’m in right now is the worst. How do I decide if it matters more for me to be happy, or for me to protect those around me? Yes, priorities matter and in theory I should be able to look at an itemized list, see which one is closest to the top, and choose that one to work off of. But that’s never true in reality; I don’t have a black and white life where I can list things that way. So how do I choose? How do I decide which should come first; me or others? If I choose me, I’m choosing something that I can control and manipulate to do what I believe to be best. But if I protect someone else, there’s a possibility they could do more good in the world than I could. So the choice remains, and I lobby around asking for advice and praying I have a revelation about what to do.

When truthfully indecision is exactly that, the inability to choose. The choice to let it go, and let reality choose for you. Because every moment that you spend putting off the decision, events are set in motion that change the outcome of each option. Indecision, in my opinion is the choice.