You need to say yes to this book.

In the Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes, the powerhouse creator of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder, opens up about how miserable she was despite her incredible success. Miserable? How could a woman with her dream job, three beautiful children, the Queen of Thursday Nights, creator of McDreamy and Olivia Pope, be unhappy? But she was.

In an incredibly open and hilarious memoir, Rhimes candidly shares her life, her fears and how she shut down, becoming a shadow of her former self. Her transformation to a happy, confident, fearless and healthier woman began with a frustrated comment by her older sister. At Thanksgiving in 2013, Rhimes was trying to impress her sister with a long list of recent invites – big parties, TV interviews, awards dinners. But when the writer admitted she had accepted zero of those offers, her sister muttered six words that changed Rhimes’ life. You never say yes to anything.

Those words haunted the writer. As she thought about it more and more, Rhimes realized she had been living a shell of a life and the reason was even more haunting. Saying yes was scary. It was out of her comfort zone, she had nestled herself so far into her pantry (her go to place as a kid to hide away and create her own imaginary world), she had become a quieter, less assertive woman, living solely through her television scripts.

So she decided to say yes. To everything. TV appearances? Yes. Parties? Yes. Award speeches? Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes. And the journey during the Year of Yes surprises Rhimes in ways she never expected. A graduation speech at her alma mater finally resolves her deep-seeded fear of public speaking. After avoiding Jimmy Kimmel interviews for years, she nervously agrees to go on the show and has a blast. The more Rhimes says yes, the happier and more confident she becomes.

If you ever wondered where those lengthy Grey’s and Scandal monologues come from, here’s your answer. Rhimes’ diatribes on growing up, wine, weight and weddings prove they’re clearly straight from Shonda’s brain.

While most co-workers and friends embrace the change, a few friends do not. And the revelation is shocking for Rhimes who suddenly realizes her habit of creating and imagining characters has trickled over into her real life and real friends. More than one friend gets left by the wayside when Rhimes witnesses their true colors.

Throughout the book, Rhimes creates a personal feel, a connection with the audience. She’s sassy, to the point, and not afraid to admit her weaknesses and recognize her successes. Her self-deprecating sense of humor and confidential tone instantly makes you feel like old friends. If you ever wondered where those lengthy Grey’s and Scandal monologues come from, here’s your answer. Rhimes’ diatribes on growing up, wine, weight and weddings prove they’re clearly straight from Shonda’s brain.

One of the most fascinating aspects of the book is Rhimes’ disdain for the word diversity. She scoffs at the idea that’s she brought diversity to television. She’s just sharing what the real world is like. For Rhimes, she believes every type of person should be on TV. Everyone should have their Christina Yang, their person. Someone they recognize, someone they connect with. And the outpouring of letters, emails and personal interactions with people has proven to Rhimes that her realistic portrayal of the LGBTQ community, career women and racial tensions has resonated with the audience and helped people and their personal challenges.

Similarly, Rhimes is quick to point out that she’s not interested in the way it’s always been. One chapter focuses on Rhimes’ love life and her preference to not get married. In a monologue that all single women can relate to, she is amazed at the reactions to having a man in her life and getting engaged. She received more accolades and praise from friends than the congratulations she got when she had kids, created Grey’s and received prestigious awards.

If you ever wondered why Christina Yang and Olivia Pope are career first, men second, you only need to look at Rhimes’ devotion to her first love – writing. She champions women and men making the choices they want, and to hell with the status quo. Rhimes often notes that Grey’s Yang was her voice for years when she had been afraid to have a voice. Rhimes’ words and journey are empowering, a refreshing and reassuring voice of encouragement for those looking to make their own path instead of taking the one everyone assumes they should take.

And all it took was saying yes.