When one’s in a conversation of any sort, they may come across a statement from the other party that they may disagree with, but they just don’t have the gall to vocalize it. Fear not, there are many ways to speak up without seeming like you are intelligent, and there are shortcuts to cause the most anger from the other party. These methods are meant to be used on a regular, daily basis. With my help, you will live life each day with the enjoyment of causing anger and frustration that is directed toward you. You will be a master in the high art of unintelligent argument.
To begin, we will start with the basic contradictory statement. You and your friend are talking about a recent sports event. You friend is talking about a move that one of the teams made, and he goes into great detail, with drawings of the move, video proof and all sorts of other details about their strategy. You just simply say “They did not make that move,” and let him take the turn in the conversation. By contradicting him, you have now entered the second dimension of the conversation, leading the discussion to go places beyond the reaches of the collective minds; where the thought process of those that are taking part in the conversation can only resort to releasing the anger that they are holding from an absolute lack of understanding about the confines of the second dimension of conversation. Get familiar with this dimension. If you want to succeed in the vast world of argumentation, you will be forced to transport your fellow conversationalists to this dimension multiple times per session. The transporter is the only one that can understand the second dimension, so if you happen to be the transporter, refrain from anger.
Insulting is the most powerful way to enter the second dimension, as the recipient of the insult usually takes the words personally. For you, this makes things rather interesting. At this point, depending on the magnitude of the insult, the recipient will possibly want you dead. If you want to continue living, try to give the person a few less powerful, sarcastic compliments to compensate for the damage caused by the insult. If all goes correctly, the client will take some time to figure out that you were using sarcasm, and the end result of his anger won’t be too painful. However, this is not always the case, as they might know that you are purposefully attempting to induce anger.
Amidst all of the many things that you should do, there are many things that you should not do. The most important of all of the things that should not happen is for you, the initiator, to have a misunderstanding of the second dimension. Without the second dimension, the whole angering process is not possible. If you make any attempt to travel between dimensions without understanding them, you will more than likely fall into the anger that you were trying to cause. If you, the trans-dimensional taxi driver, do not understand the dimension that you are traveling to, you will be lost in the dimension, forever stuck in an infinite cycle of anger within all parties.
Use these methods lightly, as the impact that they have will slowly become nonexistent, as the people around you will start to gain an understanding of the second dimension, something that should be prevented. If you restrict your use to when it is just necessary, great, dysfunctional conversations shall be at your fingertips, with your control being the only guide to their demise.
